Lyrical Catalog (Mickey D’s)

ARTIST: MICKEY D’s

ALBUM: THE ODDS MEET THE ENDS

Released: July 19, 2024

Thousands of dollars. Thousands of hours. Flaky musicians. Changing seasons. Playing concerts in sweaty, smelly overworked venues for ten people. Quite the memories. If you’re an optimist, you could count fifteen more waiting for their buddy's bar band to follow yours with a bunch of overplayed top 40s all the while boozing the night away. Don’t give yourself too much credit though. Within your ten, you’re counting the sound man, the bartender, and the drummer’s mom.

You wanted to do your own thing with your music. Not imitate. You were too good for cover songs! Perhaps, what’s more ironic is that in your originals, you were imitating songs and artists by the dozens, forever searching for your “sound” and “purpose”. Why didn’t it work? Perhaps it was a lack of vision, coherence, or a failure to channel the appropriate synergies shared amongst one another. Sure, you were each creative in your own right, but you were still finding those God-given sweet spots. Did the struggle hit because of anything misaligned amongst you? Probably not. Maybe it was the unavoidable post-adolescent angst that went with looking or being the coolest or striving to one up others in your sphere of influence— your own spirits, competitive to a fault. Eighteen and nineteen, nothing but the open road ahead. The promise of getting the right attention.

Your band life was never about chasing money or the commercialization of your work. Actually, you’d contend you were all but mere wilderness wanderers intersecting for short stints on an endless quest to make your voices heard—distinct but familiar.

Beyond the many obstacles sat potential. But then again, there’s still far too much upfront cost involved to really leave your mark appropriately. And that assumes you have the talent, skill, or discipline to really do it right. Of which, some do, some try, and some just don’t.

Don’t be discouraged by the cold open. What you did have was both priceless and special and not a feeling just anyone has. As an artist, you may have many motivations, but getting butterflies over something you helped create, that’s where it’s really at. There’s perhaps no more selfishly satisfying feeling, is there? The idea for passionate people to chase their dreams with reckless abandon is often hardcoded within you, never escaping until it’s channeled to the place it’s supposed to go. Where that is, you won’t know ‘til you find it. The medium, the method, the strategy, those things will change over time, but at the core of each of those you remain.

Amassing a body of highly imitative original works with more songs than fans, your pursuits became more work than fun and perhaps subconsciously that’s when your dream chasing faded away. You had miles and memories to separate you. Marriages needed focus. Children that required your presence. A career to provide for you and your family.  

Naturally, this left walls and closets full of guitars, drum sets, speakers, cabinets, and microphones collecting dust for years. The spark was still there within, lost somewhere but never forgotten. The best part of all this… creativity’s not housed in gear or in quality recording equipment, but rather in its purchaser. Finding balance to your responsibilities, you worked on whims, impulses, and good humor—the fuel to your long idling engine. And that’s when you again took flight.  And so, after a very long hiatus, you found your voice long lost. A method unorthodox. Spur of the moment epiphanies overrunning your crowded thoughts. And it’s those very things that allowed you to have a blast again.

Not with thousands of dollars of gear in a closet, thousands of hours of recording or production time, just an acoustic guitar, some cheap headphones, a tablet, and the few minutes you could squeeze in here or there.

Here’s Mickey D’s.

Sloppy. Goofy. Distinct.

The place where the odds meet the ends.

Sitcom Guy (Laugh Until You Cry)

Mickey D’s

I flip from one sitcom to the next

Pop the top on my beverage of choice

1995… skipping right on past..

Jerry, Rachel, and Frasier like they’re evening friends

Don’t get me wrong now

They’re my favorite And I can’t stop watching them over again.

Sitcom guy just telling some jokes

Commercial break hits and your burning your evening toast

One thing’s for certain about these nights

You’ll sit there just hoping that you’ll laugh until you cry.

You’ll laugh until you cry. You’ll laugh until you cry.

An armchair comedian, you’ll never be.

You take some notes as you sip on your glass of tea.

And I hope that this gag lands better than the last.

‘Cause the truth is, man, you’re stuck living in the past!

Don’t get me wrong now

They’re my favorite shows.

And I can’t stop watching them over again.

Sitcom guy just telling some jokes

Commercial break hits and your burning your evening toast

One thing’s for certain about these nights

You’ll sit there just hoping that you’ll laugh until you cry.

You’ll laugh until you cry. You’ll laugh until you cry.

The show gets cancelled and you shed a tear…

But is it any better when they kill of a character

Based on an unknown writer’s fear?

And they give up the ghost…

A new 8:30 slot to post.

Sitcom guy just telling some jokes

Commercial break hits and your burning your evening toast

One thing’s for certain about these nights

You’ll sit there just hoping that you’ll laugh until you cry.

You’ll laugh until you cry. You’ll laugh until you cry

Totally Alright

Mickey D’s

A corporate citizen… you’re not.

A talented musician… you’re not.

A tech-savvy genius… you’re not.

A bestselling author… you’re not.

You’re just an average everyday guy and that’s totally alright.

You’re just an average everyday guy and that’s totally alright.

A strategic businessman… you’re not.

A penny-pinching budgeter… you’re not.

A sensible kind of tool man… you’re not.

A lovable public speaker… you’re not.

You’re just an average everyday guy and that’s totally alright.

You’re just an average everyday guy and that’s totally alright.

There’s nothing to be ashamed of…

Can’t have it all… just part of the graceful dance of life

That we all run through, ‘til we slip and fall

And get ourselves back up.

You’re just an average everyday guy and that’s totally alright.

You’re just an average everyday guy and that’s totally alright.

Cheeseburger Night

Mickey D’s

Only one thing on my mind tonight.

My appetite’s as big as the state of Hawaii.

Clear across Maui and Oahu, too.

But that’s not what we’re talkin’ about right now.

Cheeseburger. Thick and juicy.

Slice of bacon and mustard, too.

Cheeseburger. Thick and juicy.

With fresh lettuce and tomater’s, too.

Okay. So maybe I lied to you.

My appetite’s as big as my mouth is wide.

Let’s give the credit where it’s due.

I once won a pie eating contest in Kalamazoo.

Cheeseburger. Thick and juicy.

Slice of bacon and mustard, too.

Cheeseburger. Thick and juicy.

With fresh lettuce and tomater’s, too.

You drive thru wizard, you know ‘em all.

They fast track your order

As you drive right through their wall.

Call their corporate headquarters.

‘Cause your burger and your fries aren’t 4.99 no more!

Cheeseburger. Thick and juicy.

Slice of bacon and mustard, too.

Cheeseburger. Thick and juicy.

With fresh lettuce and tomater’s, too.

Bald Spot

Mickey D’s

You gave your man… a bald spot.

He thought, he might… dissolve that.

Dripping topical oil and onion…

But it never worked.

No… It never worked.

Your mom, your dad… they lost out.

On a son… who had… a nice scalp.

Of hair… that grew… without help…

I know. I know. I know. I know.

You’ve got a canyon on top of your head.

A chromus domus you must show us.

Another weirdo with a beard-o

Gulpin’ beer now… he’s a lost cause.

A lost cause. A lost cause. A lost cause.

A bald spot.

Who’s lost now?

A psycho babbling baboon.

A psycho babbling baboon.

Yeah!

Aging Brain

Mickey D’s

You’re older…

You’re wiser…

You’re slower…

And you still can’t tell a joke…

You’re balder…

You’re weirder…

And you’re fatter…

You’re losing all control…

Aches, conditions, pains…

They’re part of getting old…

Can’t remember names when you see faces

Faces when you see names

But the simple truth of it

Is that it’s scattered somewhere in your aging brain.

You’re ornery…

You’re grumpy…

And you’re grouchy…

You’ve never been so ugly…

You’re smarter…

You’re seasoned…

And you’re tired…

Just hopin’ you don’t croak…

Aches, conditions, pains…

They’re part of getting old…

Can’t remember names when you see faces

Faces when you see names

But the simple truth of it

Is that it’s scattered somewhere in your aging brain.

The means to the madness

It’s all well and good

‘Til the docs start working under your hood

And maybe that’s okay, you never know, they might just 3D print your brain.

I sure hope not!

Can’t remember names when you see faces

Faces when you see names

But the simple truth is

Is that it’s scattered somewhere in your aging brain.

Another year around the sun…

Let’s make it to the next one.

Suburban Rambler

Mickey D’s

Just kickin’ it old school, man.

Not in the barnyard. Not in the schoolyard.

Just some middle aged guy, chillin’ in his backyard.

Grass overgrown— ‘cause his chest hurts…

Little baby pool, barely inflated— held together with a crooked piece of waterproof tape

Stoppin’ the leak… but is that relevant, though?

I don’t know…

Just a friendly neighborhood geek…

He’s got some sort of mystique…

You think you might know him…

‘Til he starts to freak out on you.

Freak out on me.

It’s not the sort of thing

You’d expect from this kind of guy.

Not even close. He can’t even look you in the eye.

‘Cause he’s just a little on the shy side, man.

And just when you think you’ve got a handle on this number…

We pull out the proverbial rug from under us all, we slip and fall.

Addition by subtraction… it’ll take some extraordinary actions.

But let me be the first to say… “it’s not gonna go… your way.”

Just a friendly neighborhood geek…

He’s got some sort of mystique…

You think you might know him…

‘Til he starts to freak out on you.

Freak out on me.

It’s not the sort of thing

You’d expect from this kind of guy.

Not even close. He can’t even look you in the eye.

‘Cause he’s just a little on the shy side, man.

Makin’ demo tapes in mom’s garage.

But he still can’t really sing in pitch or time while he tries to rhyme…

Get away with a few little lines. You see what he did there?

Freestylin’… no no… I think not…

No. No. No. Whatever… never mind.

No. This story never really ends.

We just put it on pause thirty-eight seconds from now and we start the whole thing over.

You get kinda worn out— but you don’t shout.

You just look around, hopin’ no one sees you pout.

Some kind of smart mouth goofus with a grin.

God only knows what else, man.

Just a friendly neighborhood geek…

He’s got some sort of mystique…

You think you might know him…

‘Til he starts to freak out on you.

Freak out on me.

It’s not the sort of thing

You’d expect from this kind of guy.

Not even close. He can’t even look you in the eye.

‘Cause he’s just a little on the shy side, man.

Acoustic Misfit

Mickey D’s

Hey there, acoustic misfit.

You can’t play a chord or sing a note.

You keep on keepin’ on.

Your wit’s a little slow.

Your charm’s plum worn out as you ramble on.

On and on you go, you’re trying new things you’d never know.

On and on you go, you’re trying new things you’d never know.

Let’s come together and do something special.

A long winded fever dream.

And if we make the right connection.

You and I might just break the scene.

Hey there, acoustic misfit.

Does your throat burn before you sing?

You can’t take a complement any better.

So I won’t bother tryin’ anymore.

On and on you go, you’re trying new things you’d never know.

On and on you go, you’re trying new things you’d never know

Let’s come together and do something special.

A long winded fever dream.

And if we make the right connection.

You and I might just break the scene.

It’s such an entertaining tango we found.

Dancing back and forth as we share these words.

There’s just not really much left to give.

Just hopin’ to find our rhythm again.

It’s about time that we part ways.

I’m breathin’ down your neck while your paranoid.

You can’t handle all the pressure.

Your self-indulgent ego, it’s a problem, my friend.

On and on you go, you’re trying new things you’d never know.

On and on you go, you’re trying new things you’d never know.

Let’s come together and do something special.

A long winded fever dream.

And if we make the right connection.

You and I might just break the scene.

Hoarder Dad

Mickey D’s

Hoarder dad just stuffed in a box

Full of junk only mom could love...

Climate controlled, some kind of joke.

Nope, my man, this song's not a hoax…

Pull it all out. Throw it away.

Start over, Dad. Or them pesky rats will stay!

Pull it all out. Throw it away.

Start over, Dad. Or them pesky rats will stay!

Fleabitten mom just stuck in a car...

So much garbage, not even flies would hang.

She don't offend so easy now...

Workin' the Febreze... and she’s cleaner now...

Pull it all out. Throw it away.

Start over, Momma. Them pesky fleas will stay!

Pull it all out. Throw it away.

Start over, Momma. Them pesky fleas will stay!

Them pesky fleas will stay...

Them pesky fleas will stay...

So now it's about time

That we level set the score.

One man's trash is another woman's treasure.

One woman's trash is another man's treasure!

I Don’t Do Sand (Do You?)

Mickey D’s

It's gritty... and grainy

A pain in the neck...

The texture, the feel, the smell

It's all wrong.

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

Do you?

Beaches are overated...

Mountains are better...

Crowds and noise

They're such a big ploy...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

Do you?

Barefooted walks on the shoreline...

Sounds like my worst nightmare.

Between your toes and stuck in your shoes.

And your hair... if you've got it, too.

The real trouble with the stuff I have is

That it tracks on the floor

And on your face and your arms

And in your mouth and your food and everywhere else, too.

The worst kind of thing...

I hope doesn't happen to you.

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

I don't do sand...

Do you?

Cheapskate Clickbait

Mickey D’s 

Cheapskate Clickbait

You know I can’t appreciate

The goofball within us all

You lose your way with your tongue in cheek…

Another loss as daylight slips away.

The kind of guy that never does complain.

Get your grins and your giggles now, my friend.

For tomorrow may never be found.

Cheapskate Clickbait

Dire straits that you can’t evade

Before them aliens invade

Your state of mind is all but gone.

Another loss as daylight slips away

The kind of guy that never does complain

Get your grins and your giggles now, my friend

For tomorrow may never be found

You drift away…

Slipping into outer space…

It’s a new kind of thing…

As you’ve lost your way…

Darn Cat (You’re All That!)

Mickey D’s

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Little toy on the floor…

Tearin’ up the bathroom door…

Feline, My Dear…

You’ve Got Nowhere to Go…

As the Little Old House

Crumbles Beneath Your Paws…

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Slappin’ at your round food bowl…

Hopin’ for a little more…

Feline, My Dear…

You’ve Got Nowhere to Go…

As the Little Old House

Crumbles Beneath Your Paws…

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Darn Cat, You’re All That!

Darn Cat, You Miss That!

Feline, My Dear…

You’ve Got Nowhere to Go…

As the Little Old House

Crumbles Beneath Your Paws

Mr. Seagal (Old Fashioned Action Hero)

Mickey D’s

Mr. Seagal, Here’s a swan song…

From some guy you’ll never know.

I’ve been a fan for a while…

Three decades late no more cashflow

Mr. Seagal, this just might be

The very last word I share

Bringing back the 80s, 90s

Much fun while they lasted, sir.

Judo chops, flips, and kicks

Does anyone do them anymore?

We can only dream again.

Let’s bring them back to the silver screen.

Old fashioned action hero

The very best kind

Do your own stunts and jumps

While rockin’ ponytail…

And you know what else?

No CGI or green-screen.

You’re just really that cool kind of man.

Judo chops, flips, and kicks

Does anyone do them anymore?

We can only dream again.

Let’s bring them back to the silver screen.

Old fashioned action hero

The very best kind

Do your own stunts and jumps

While rockin’ ponytail…

And you know what else?

No CGI or green-screen.

You’re just really that cool kind of man.

They don’t make them like they used to.

And sometimes, I wish they would.

And if I had just one last wish…

Please punch and kick again

Cracking Pumpkin (Green, Yellow, and White)

Mickey D’s

Cracking pumpkin

Soggy and moldy

Piled mush

In a backyard.

Due west of San Anton

Funny thing is

That you’d never know…

The others look on from the side…

Standing so tall and wide.

Green, yellow, and white.

The orange can’t win the fight.

Green, yellow, and white.

The orange can’t win the fight.

Wilting pumpkin

Dying and gone.

A day late.

A dollar short.

Morning muse.

You’re dead on report.

Stumbling in your last resort.

The others look on from the side…

Standing so tall and wide.

Green, yellow, and white.

The orange can’t win the fight.

Green, yellow, and white.

The orange won’t win the fight.

Lazy earthling…

Waiting for a way…

Just to help it biodegrade…

Maybe I’m just off my rocker…

Another looney Johnny Ro

Whistler’s Mother

Mickey D’s

Whistler's mother nearly lost her mind.

Day after day when the kid made the noise.

'Til her throat went dry and she needed a drink.

Apple juice on ice, and a child to blame.

Genetic transference, or an axe to grind.

It never really matters and she can’t deny...

Mommy might roll the dice

Just hopin’ that her girl will stop.

If she had the answer

She’d give it away.

As the other moms and dads

Drift to insanity.

The best thing to do is to hug her babe.

Tell her little child, “Stop whistling!”

If only it were that... easy.

She could make a killing.

Write self help books

To the desperate.

It’s not gonna work

This night though...

I don't know...

I don't know...

Debatable

Mickey D’s

Two guys standing up…

One hunched, the other never small…

And man, they’re telling some lies…

You laugh at first, and then you realize

That you really can’t.

Not a parody. Nor a farce.

The whole world’s at stake

Will they tear it apart?

That’s debatable. Debatable.

That’s debatable. Debatable.

Eighty’s not the new fifty like we’re told.

Lob a softball question… let’s make it two.

Truth is, neither one has much a clue.

Blowin’ so much smoke, we better evacuate the Room. 

Not a parody. Nor a farce.

The whole world’s at stake.

Will they tear it apart?

That’s debatable. Debatable.

That’s debatable. Debatable.

The real question of the night

Will they have a plan B?

If you ask me, I’d say “I don’t think so…

And if there was… would it even go through?”

I’m not pickin’ on one man… or the other one either.

I’m just makin’ observations… a bit smarter than a few talking heads.

Not a parody. Nor a farce.

The whole world’s at stake.

Will they tear it apart?

That’s debatable. Debatable.

That’s debatable. Debatable.

Unplug

Mickey D’s

You might have thought by now…

That you knew where you were…

You’d done figured out who I was…

But I’m just gonna have to go ahead and set the record straight-t-t-t.

Riff this… Rumble that…

Talk this… Sing that…

Play this… Do that…

Give it up… Unplug…

In no particular order, I continue my freewheelin’…

Chippin’ away at the veneer exposin’ my simple mind

As you look into my third eye…

I don’t do new age…

I never learned how…

But the phrase, I couldn’t pass it up…

So who am I to say, my friend…

That you and I… we shouldn’t meet up-p-p-p?

Riff this… Rumble that…

Talk this… Sing that…

Play this… Do that…

Give it up… Unplug…

I got a six stringer… and a wobbling baritone voice…

How do you resist? You and your cheap headphones?

Wonderin’ how you stumbled across such a mess…

And so I guess it goes…

Without sayin’… we wind the day down.

The old man in the studio…

He turns the lights off and says…

“You’re outta money… you’re outta time… Get out of here!”

Riff this… Rumble that…

Talk this… Sing that…

Play this… Do that…

Give it up… Unplug…

Yeah, I’ll forgive him for sayin’ all that…

‘Cause well, I’ve worn him out pretty good here.

And uh… yeah, he’s definitely burned the midnight oil more than once.

And, yeah I’m just ramblin’ on and on… and I better stop before I get ahead.

So that’s all I got, bye bye.

Sometimes People

Mickey D’s

I checked into a fleabag motel.

Ran out of dough just chasing my tail.

I lost my way at home with you.

But you’d never know.

Sometimes the normal people see.

Sometimes the normal people hear.

Sometimes the normal people run.

Sometimes they’re just crazy.

Sometimes they’re just crazy.

Stayed the other night at an expensive room.

The nicest hotel on the block.

It wasn’t really for me, though, I’m sure

Because it was still a cheap box.

Sometimes people don’t really know

Their minds are running to a show.

Sometimes people never will learn.

They’re losing all control.

Show you… they don’t really know

Show you… they don’t really know.

Sometimes people lose their way

Sometimes people cut their ties

Sometimes people never say no

Sometimes people give it up

But you don’t have to…

Sometimes you have to.

ARTIST: MICKEY D’s.           

ALBUM: SOPHOMORIC SLOP

Released: FEBRUARY 12, 2025

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 8 months since I released my first solo album, and I can’t say I was planning a follow up so quickly, but as the pieces began to fall into place over the past several weeks, I realized it was time. So here we are, the second album from Mickey D’s is entitled, “Sophomoric Slop.”

There are all kinds of double entendres in a name like that, but ultimately, my decision to go that route with the title is to remind my audience that the purpose of the project is not perfection but rather to embrace the incredible freedom that comes with exploring creativity in sloppier ways and as we gain more experience. When it comes to most artforms, a person can spend years perfecting something and often times the difference in quality is negligible. Ultimately, the artist’s experience in turn becomes more and more uninspired as it grows over-polished. Perhaps, that’s why even the finest bands start to burn out creatively. It becomes something you do because it’s expected, not something that just happens.

When we look at the origin of the word, “Sophomore”, it’s not just the second year high school or college student we’re referring to. The root word in the Greek is “sophos” which means “clever or wise”. However, the second half of that, is the word “moros” which indirectly translates to “foolish” or as we often hear it in English, “moron.” So, from the “wise fool” comes a pile of sloppy songs.

For many of us, creativity in the spontaneous moment is where our finest ideas are born. I’d contend that when we allow that little spark to drive our efforts, the excitement that goes along with it is contagious, allowing an incredible amount of output to occur in rapid fire bursts— which is, in fact, how most of my work seems to happen. Maybe lightning only strikes in the bottle once or twice with each project, but that’s the beauty of it. To quote the late David Lynch, the creator of Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet, “Ideas are like fish in the sea. You have a million options you could catch, but it’s the ones you actually hook that matter.” It’s not a matter of if you’ve hooked a fish that fifty-thousand others already have, but rather, the way you “weave” the fish you catch into what you’re doing to make it distinctly your very own.

So, as we delve into the Sophomoric Slop that goes along with a rushed and hurried second album from an unknown artist, I ask not for validation or for praise, but rather, that you see the potential you can unleash with even the simplest of ideas— be it, in writing, in music, in film, in painting, in drawing, in cooking, in organizing, you hold the key to your success in your own pocket. You’ve just got to pick it up and hold on tight!

The paragraph that follows might make you cringe, but you can’t blame a guy for trying.

If I were a Betting Man, I’d say there was a Gold Rush on the horizon—you might have to feast on Canned Meats a while before you get there, buy an SUV from a Greaseball Car Salesman, and quickly retreat to your Hiding Place before you can get to New Things in your life. You might feast on a Bag of Candy Corns on a Saturday shortly after running into the Neighborly Knuckleheads next to you— ‘Til they serve you a tasty meal when you go to confront them and end up with Barbecue Breath. You Get the Point yet? You’ve got two options, to Stop it Now While You Can or Take a Journey With Me. One thing’s for certain, I’m just Another Weirdo.

And so it begins!

“Betting Man”

Mickey D’s

He’s dumber than rocks.

She’s smarter than rain.

And the truth is I’ll tell you.

They will go insane.

I ain’t got much to encourage.

‘Cause all I’m seeing is relational carnage.

Will he ever know what do?

Will she ever know what to say?

Will he ever know what do?

Will she ever know what to say?

And if I were a betting man

I’d give up now while I still can

Chances are slim. And they’re bleak to none.

Might as well just… give up and run!

Another year it has gone by.

With all of their arguments, high in the sky.

You can’t put a clock on ‘em now. ‘Til one of them lazies, picks up and plows

Will he ever know what do?

Will she ever know what to say?

Will he ever know what do?

Will she ever know what to say?

And if I were a betting man

I’d give up now while I still can

Chances are slim. And they’re bleak to none.

Might as well just… give up and run!

Your words get so empty.

Their meanings are dumb.

Your life is getting crazy.

Just need some morning sun.

And if I were a betting man

I’d give up now while I still can

Chances are slim. Even bleak to none.

Might as well just… give up and run.

Gold Rush

Mickey D’s

Gold rush is nearby... and something’s gone awry...

Let’s find some way to fly...

Before you lose your mind...

I-I-I-I-I-H-I

Colorado rising... clear mountain rains…

Rivers running through the plains.

Wildlife roaming on the range… ever seeking to find their place.

I-I-I-I-I-H-I

From canyon to valley, you say things. Staring at the stars. Hoping... desperate pleas... From canyon to valley, you say things. Staring at the stars. Hoping... desperate pleas...

Ah---eh--oh---oh--eh---oh--oh

Running away from you, my friend. You’ll lose your place, you'll never end.

Running away from you, my friend. You’ll lose your place, you'll never end.

“Canned Meats”

Mickey D’s

I bought a can of chili. 

From an old hillbilly.

Sitting on a corner.

He might have been a stoner…

Kind of lame, oh, yes I know…

Funny guy just puttin’ on a show.

Kind of lame, oh, yes I know…

Funny guy just puttin’ on a show.

It’s the canned meats, buddy…

They’ve got you and me…

All sorts of wacky.

Let’s grab beef jerky.

I sold a can of dog food.

To your mother’s brother.

You think it was expired.

From a factory on fire.

Kind of lame, oh, yes I know…

Funny guy just puttin’ on a show.

Kind of lame, oh, yes I know…

Funny guy just puttin’ on a show.

It’s the canned meats, buddy…

They’ve got you and me…

All sorts of wacky.

Let’s grab beef jerky.

It was the craziest thing, man.

Got ‘em mixed up one night.

Figured the dog food wasn’t all that bad.

‘Til I lost my lunch, and began to gag.

Kind of lame, oh, yes I know…

Funny guy just puttin’ on a show.

Kind of lame, oh, yes I know…

Funny guy just puttin’ on a show.

It’s the canned meats, buddy…

They’ve got you and me…

All sorts of wacky.

Let’s grab beef jerky.

“Greaseball Car Salesman”

Mickey D’s

Hey there fellow, can you give me that clunker sittin’ over there, if you please?

I got four grand and the biggest smile, a round bald head and I’m still juvenile.

Greaseball car salesman, he finally makes a sale

To another guy, nix the ponytail…

Joke’s on you, bro…

Just a bunch of sawdust in a pail.

That’s the problem man, that I need you to know…

I never was much a fancy guy.

I always preferred the simpler life.

Messin’ around in the garden shed.

Don’t play with matches, they’ll get to your head…

Greaseball car salesman, he finally makes a sale.

To another guy, nix the ponytail…

Joke’s on you, bro…

Just a bunch of sawdust in a pail.

That’s the problem man, that I need you to know…

And if I may then I’ll say to you, please don’t get scammed by one of those warranty sales, they’ll rip you off, cut your heart out, man… ‘til you are bro—-o—o—ke.

Greaseball car salesman, he finally makes a sale

To another guy, nix the ponytail

Joke’s on you, bro…

Just a bunch of sawdust in a pail.

That’s the problem man, that I need you to know…

“Hiding Place”

Mickey D’s

I never ate Ramen ‘til I turned 35

I never wore pajamas in the broad daylight

I never had good humor ‘cause I was shy.

Just somethin’ about another lonely guy.

I want you to know.

I want you to know.

I want you to know.

I want you to know.

There was a time 

To say the things

That you loved 

Or force your way.

You don’t have to go to your hiding place.

You don’t have to go to your hiding place.

You don’t have to go to your hiding place. 

You don’t have to go to your hiding place.

I never ate falafels in my whole darn life.

I never hustled Amway to my brother’s wife.

I never had spaghetti some time after midnight.

Just somethin’ about another lonely guy.

I want you to know.

I want you to know.

I want you to know.

I want you to know.

There was a time 

To say the things

That you loved 

Or force your way.

You don’t have to go to your hiding place.

You don’t have to go to your hiding place.

You don’t have to go to your hiding place. 

You don’t have to go to your hiding place.

Oh, no.

There was a time 

To say the things

That you loved 

Or force your way.

New Things

Mickey D’s

Chicken tenders, you goofy kid

The brand matters, oh, yes it does.

Macaroni, you cheesy kid…

The brand matters, oh, yes it does…

You think you rule the roost.

Truth is, baby, you are rude.

Every day we learn new things

And we begin to see..

The love we have inside us now…

It never ends, it’s never through.

Hold on for as long as you can

Life gets hard when you take a chance

I’m not saying you shouldn’t…

Just warning you it can sting.

You think you rule the roost.

Truth is, baby, you are rude.

Every day we learn new things

And we begin to see..

The love we have inside us now…

It never ends, it’s never through.

Candy Corn Man

Mickey D’s

Can’t really believe it…

Autumn in bloom and I can prove it…

Walk down the aisle of your favorite corner store

Look for the orange bag that your about to score.

Bag of candy corns in your hand

Eat ‘em now while you can.

Bag of candy corns in your hand

Eat ‘em now while you can.

Orange, yellow, white.

Sugar shock delight.

Gooey, chewy, big mistake and that’s alright!

Never mind, I don’t know.

Lose your way, I don’t care.

You better run from the candy corn man!

The bag ran out faster than you’d want…

Back on the street, you hustled some more…

Walk down the aisle of your local corner store

Look for the orange bag that your about to score.

Bag of candy corns in your hand

Eat ‘em now while you can.

Bag of candy corns in your hand

Eat ‘em now while you can.

Orange, yellow, white.

Sugar shock delight.

Gooey, chewy, big mistake and that’s alright!

Never mind, I don’t know.

Lose your way, I don’t care.

You better run from the candy corn man!

Artificial flavors and some honey… they’ll only cost you just a little money.

Bag of candy corns in your hand

Eat ‘em now while you can.

Bag of candy corns in your hand

Eat ‘em now while you can.

Orange, yellow, white.

Sugar shock delight.

Gooey, chewy, big mistake and that’s alright!

Never mind, I don’t know.

Lose your way, I don’t care.

You better run from the candy corn man!

Like many good things, the season starts to end…

Favorite candy came and went with nothing left to show…

But a bigger gut and a song or two…

A simple lament, I can’t say anymore.

Saturday

Mickey D’s

Funny you should mention it…

'cause I'm not really sure…

Bury the whole lede in there…

'Til you're ready to score.

It's not really worth the time

For you or me to say.

About the kind of things that we should do

On a Saturday.

A Saturday. A Saturday.

On a Saturday

A Saturday. On a Saturday

I guess it's about time to go.

For you to break out your shell.

It must be some kind of tricky thing

For you to leave the mold.

It's not really worth the time

For you or me to say.

About the kind of things that we should do

On a Saturday.

A Saturday. A Saturday.

On a Saturday.

A Saturday. On a Saturday.

Just when you thought you would know

The places you were gonna go...

But things... they changed in your life.

Caused you to evaluate.

It's not really worth the time...

For you or me to say.

About the kind of things that we should do...

On a Saturday.

A Saturday. A Saturday.

On a Saturday.

A Saturday. On a Saturday.

“Neighborly Knuckleheads”

Mickey D’s

Neighborly Knuckleheads

They get so tired of 

Neighborly Knuckleheads

They make the finest eggs

Neighborly Knuckleheads

They are the stupid ones.

Neighborly Knuckleheads

They can’t get their way anymore.

Anymore. Anymore…

They think they got it figured out.

They think they got it figured out.

Neighborly knuckleheads.

They get their way with you.

Neighborly knuckleheads.

Blasting music half past two

Neighborly knuckleheads.

Ruinin’ your priceless sleep

Neighborly knuckleheads.

You’re done with them.

They think they got it figured out.

They think they got it figured out.

They think they got it figured out.

But the simplest truth of it…

They’re dumber than a cow.

They think they got it figured out.

But the simplest truth of it…

They’re dumber than a cow.

I’m not one to mince my words

Tehy’re getting just what they deserved

A tiny 6x6 efficiency trailerhouse.

Trailerhouse…

They think they got it figured out.

They think they got it figured out.

They think they got it figured out.

But the simplest truth of it…

They’re dumber than a cow.

They think they got it figured out.

But the simplest truth of it…

They’re dumber than a cow.

Barbecue Breath

Mickey D’s

Barbecue on your breath, there it is...

Kind of going up your nose...

You think you've got it under control.

'Til that pothole in the road.

All over your dashboard, you made a mess.

Can't tell your old lady... without some hissy fit.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

The secret's out and you cannot tell a lie.

Old family recipe passed from generations to you.

The truth is you can't believe your eyes.

Substituting molasses with the corn syrup, too.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

Water, tomato paste, vinegar, salt.

Nat-u-ral liquid smoke, modified food starch.

Car-a-mel color... and some xantham gum.

Hydrolized soy protein, garlic, pectin, and some benzoate.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

TALKY BRIDGE

The secret's out and you cannot tell a lie.

Old family recipe passed from generations to you.

The truth is you can't believe your eyes.

Substituting molasses with the corn syrup, too.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

Because the barbecue is so darn good.

You kinda make it with a mesquite wood.

Barbecue on your breath, there it is...

Kind of going up your nose...

You think you've got it under control.

'Til that pothole in the road.

Get the Point

Mickey D’s

Your out of cash.

Your out of time.

You waste your life

While you break your spine.

You'll fall apart... run away.

While you get a grip... you'll buy a toupee.

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

Dumb things down

You'll make a pie

You'll buy a house built with soap and lye.

Fall apart... run away.

Get a grip... you wear a toupee.

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

If you don't follow me, that's okay.

If you don't follow me, that's okay.

If you don't follow me, that's okay.

If you don't follow me, that's okay.

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't you?

You get the point, don't yo

Stop it Now While You Can!

Mickey D’s

Turn the lights down ‘cause it’s time to play…

A kind of meaningless video game…

A place you’ll escape your reality…

Face your demons on a screen…

Loser dad, still playing games…

In your mom’s basement…

Same night after night…

Will you ever change?

Your 35. And you’ll never learn…

That there’s better ways to spend your time!

Another planet or some other game…

Next level, yeah, you’ll go insane…

Kind of funny how you waste your life…

On all these kind of things…

Loser dad, still playing games…

In your mom’s basement…

Same night after night…

Will you ever change?

Your 35. And you’ll never learn…

That there’s better ways to spend your time!

There’s better ways to spend your time!

There’s better ways to spend your time!

There’s better ways to spend your time!

There’s better ways to spend your time!

There’s no final showdown, here and now…

Just a single guy with nothin’ to do…

Kind of fitting that he whines and cries…

Pointing at the pie in the sky!

Loser dad, still playing games…

In your mom’s basement…

Same night after night…

Will you ever change?

Your 35. And you’ll never learn…

That there’s better ways to spend your time!

I don’t know what to say to you…

‘Cause you’re another loser dude!

Game after game you fry your brain…

You chase your tail, day after day!

Just stop it now while you can!

Just stop it now while you can!

Just stop it now while you can!

Just stop it now while you can!

Take a Journey with Me

Mickey D’s

My parting wish in all of this.

Is to leave you with a smile.

A sort of unknown glow

That you and me haven't known for a while.

Floating above the skies...

Raindrops falling our eyes are wide...

Take a journey with me

To a place you've never seen

A perfect heaven in the skies

Like we've never known

This is the very last chance

For us to get on through

Get on through to a better life.

Until the world you know...

Starts to fall away...

The peace in your heart...

Takes you to a better place.

Floating above the skies...

Raindrops falling our eyes are wide...

Take a journey with me

To a place you've never seen

A perfect heaven in the skies

Like we've never known

This is the very last chance

For us to get on through

Get on through to a better life.

Together. Together.

One Last Time...

One Last Time...

One Last Time...

One Last Time!

Take my hand, my dear.

Brand new places to go.

All the people to know.

An incredible road ahead!

Take a journey with me

To a place you've never seen

A perfect heaven in the skies

Like we've never known

This is the very last chance

For us to get on through

Get on through to a better life!

“Another Weirdo”

Mickey D’s

Backwards cap… 

There on a street…

Smashed by a car…

Rolled up in tar…

It’s not really what you think it is…

Letting go of the little things…

If I could give advice to myself…

I’d wave it away, and even shut my mouth.

If I could give advice to myself…

I’d wave it away, and even shut my mouth.

Cheap cigar in a backyard…

An old trampoline, where the kids are so mean…

It’s not really what you think it is…

Letting go of the little things…

If I could give advice to myself…

I’d wave it away, and even shut my mouth…

If I could give advice to myself…

I’d wave it away, and even shut my mouth…

I’m just another weirdo.

He’s just another weirdo.

I’m just another weirdo.

He’s just another weirdo.

I’m just another weirdo.

He’s just another weirdo.

She’s just another weirdo.

We’re just some other weirdos.

And if you think this is bad, my friends.

Why don’t you take a seat in the witness stand?

There’s so many better ways to say it.

I just don’t know how they… how they will fit.

Will fit.

Will fit.

I just don’t know how they will fit.